I will write something short. I haven’t been so inspired this week.
I had my iTunes in aleatory,then this song started and well suddenly this "person" came into my mind. We all have had this experience. We listen to a song and immediately we think of that person.
But it could be a friend, your mom, your dad, relatives, someone special.
Maybe it is because that person likes that song, maybe that song was playing when something happened with that person, or in my case with this song, the lyrics say what’s happening and what you would like to do.
So I can relate this song with that person
I’m pretty sure my friends know who he is haha.
Strange And Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)-Aqualung
I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop
And you'll realise that you love me.
Yeah...
Yeah...
Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah...
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta feelings. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta feelings. Mostrar todas las entradas
viernes, 16 de septiembre de 2011
sábado, 10 de septiembre de 2011
Every time is the same.
You have been through many disappointing situations in your life, every time is the same. You always fall with the same damn rock; you fall over and over again. It’s a mess, you feel desperate and disappointed, you’re so sick of it, so tired of it. You're so scared, you don't want to believe in nothing else because for you every time is the same. You think you have lost faith, you don’t want to dream anymore, your stop believing, you’re so tired of crying at night, you don’t want to feel more pain, you don’t want to get hurt again.
A new situation shows up, and you think it’s better to see the bright side of it, you decide to be positive, to be a new person, and to enjoy what life brings you. You want to think this time will be different; you start to believe this time will be different. You say this will be a new story, you won’t feel like before. You start to dream again, to think your misery will end and that you’ll be happy this time. Everything seems to go so well, it’s seems to be good for you, you tell yourself this won’t be like before.
Then everything changes, everything goes from good to bad, it’s a déjà vu, you realise it is like before. This new situation turns out to be like the others you already had. You have fallen again, you feel miserable again- Suddenly appears this feeling that you know so well. You feel a pressure inside of you, the pain in your chest comes back, you can hardly breathe, there’s a lot of thoughts in your head, you think too much, you feel too much, you’re lost in your thoughts, you cannot even think. After that your view blurs, you feel a warm sensation running down your face, you know what it is, your eyes are full of tears now, you just cannot stop it, just like the pain you feel.
You wish you could run away, away from here, away from everybody, from everything. You feel so dumb because you believed this time would be different, this was supposed to be different, but it is not. You feel ashamed of yourself, disappointed. The same old story again. You know it so well, every part of it; you know how the script ends. You’re so stupid, will you ever learn?? you tell yourself. Because when you start to believe you realise every time is the same.
A new situation shows up, and you think it’s better to see the bright side of it, you decide to be positive, to be a new person, and to enjoy what life brings you. You want to think this time will be different; you start to believe this time will be different. You say this will be a new story, you won’t feel like before. You start to dream again, to think your misery will end and that you’ll be happy this time. Everything seems to go so well, it’s seems to be good for you, you tell yourself this won’t be like before.
Then everything changes, everything goes from good to bad, it’s a déjà vu, you realise it is like before. This new situation turns out to be like the others you already had. You have fallen again, you feel miserable again- Suddenly appears this feeling that you know so well. You feel a pressure inside of you, the pain in your chest comes back, you can hardly breathe, there’s a lot of thoughts in your head, you think too much, you feel too much, you’re lost in your thoughts, you cannot even think. After that your view blurs, you feel a warm sensation running down your face, you know what it is, your eyes are full of tears now, you just cannot stop it, just like the pain you feel.
You wish you could run away, away from here, away from everybody, from everything. You feel so dumb because you believed this time would be different, this was supposed to be different, but it is not. You feel ashamed of yourself, disappointed. The same old story again. You know it so well, every part of it; you know how the script ends. You’re so stupid, will you ever learn?? you tell yourself. Because when you start to believe you realise every time is the same.
jueves, 8 de septiembre de 2011
She's everything I'm not...
She's pretty, I'm not
She's gorgeous, I'm not
She's cute, I'm not
She's tall, I'm not
She's skinny, I'm not
She's beautiful, I'm not
She smiles all the time, I don't
She takes risks, I don't
She does everything she wants, I don't
She fights for her dreams, I don't
She's happy, I'm not
She is fearless, I'm not
She's outgoing, I'm not
She's cool, I'm not
She's worthwhile, I'm not
She's good enough, I guess I'm not
She's just perfect
She's everything I'm not...
She's gorgeous, I'm not
She's cute, I'm not
She's tall, I'm not
She's skinny, I'm not
She's beautiful, I'm not
She smiles all the time, I don't
She takes risks, I don't
She does everything she wants, I don't
She fights for her dreams, I don't
She's happy, I'm not
She is fearless, I'm not
She's outgoing, I'm not
She's cool, I'm not
She's worthwhile, I'm not
She's good enough, I guess I'm not
She's just perfect
She's everything I'm not...
domingo, 4 de septiembre de 2011
"How to deal"
It was Sunday morning, I turned up the TV on,and I looked for a movie. I found “How to deal” I have watched it like 20 times, and I never get tired of it, it's one of my favourite movies I have to say. Maybe it is because I really understand and I see a little of myself on the main character.
If you haven’t watched it,you don’t know what I’m talking about and obviously you don’t know how the main character is, here’s a little summary of the movie.
The main character is Halley (Mandy Moore, one of my favourites actress also), she is a high school student who is disillusioned with love after seeing the many dysfunctional relationships around her. Because of this she’s convinced that true love doesn’t exist. Her parents are divorced, his dad is going to marry with a younger woman, her mother is hysterical because of it, her older sister is going to marry as well and she’s planning her wedding, and her best friend…well I won’t explain what’s going on with her to not spoil this part. So Halley met a guy called Macon, she starts to spend a lot of time with him, they say they're just “friends” and well I think you can guess what’s coming next, it’s a little predictable I may say, but the situation and the thoughts that she has inside of her head about love, it’s what makes this movie interesting, at least for me.
Like I said before, I understand her, I see a reflection of myself in Halley, I really comprehend the feelings of this character, and maybe it’s because that my idea of love it’s similar to hers.
I'll put some quotes of the movie that I really like.
“I had to leave because I was starting to actually care about you...and that just means I could get hurt. Maybe it was because I wasn't ready to like someone so much.”
“Are you afraid to go out with me because you might actually like me?”
“That's what guys are good at... disappearing right?
Halley:Oh Macon, I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you.
Macon: What kind of logic is that?
Halley: It's logical logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?
There are many quotes and parts of the movie that make me think about how I feel and what I think about love. And here I go, the first time I watched it and heard this I started to think, yes this is logical logic, and I see it the same way that Halley sees it, you get along with one person, you open up, you let him/her enter into your life, in that moment you give them the power of hurting you, and I think you have more of 70% of getting hurt. Maybe this is the reason why I always give up, I’ve been through a lot of kind of things that I don’t wanna get hurt again, but I guess it is just inevitable. When you think that something is going to be different at the end it’s the same old story and you are disappointed, and you get hurt again.
If you haven’t watched it,you don’t know what I’m talking about and obviously you don’t know how the main character is, here’s a little summary of the movie.
The main character is Halley (Mandy Moore, one of my favourites actress also), she is a high school student who is disillusioned with love after seeing the many dysfunctional relationships around her. Because of this she’s convinced that true love doesn’t exist. Her parents are divorced, his dad is going to marry with a younger woman, her mother is hysterical because of it, her older sister is going to marry as well and she’s planning her wedding, and her best friend…well I won’t explain what’s going on with her to not spoil this part. So Halley met a guy called Macon, she starts to spend a lot of time with him, they say they're just “friends” and well I think you can guess what’s coming next, it’s a little predictable I may say, but the situation and the thoughts that she has inside of her head about love, it’s what makes this movie interesting, at least for me.
Like I said before, I understand her, I see a reflection of myself in Halley, I really comprehend the feelings of this character, and maybe it’s because that my idea of love it’s similar to hers.
I'll put some quotes of the movie that I really like.
“I had to leave because I was starting to actually care about you...and that just means I could get hurt. Maybe it was because I wasn't ready to like someone so much.”
“Are you afraid to go out with me because you might actually like me?”
“That's what guys are good at... disappearing right?
Halley:Oh Macon, I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you.
Macon: What kind of logic is that?
Halley: It's logical logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?
There are many quotes and parts of the movie that make me think about how I feel and what I think about love. And here I go, the first time I watched it and heard this I started to think, yes this is logical logic, and I see it the same way that Halley sees it, you get along with one person, you open up, you let him/her enter into your life, in that moment you give them the power of hurting you, and I think you have more of 70% of getting hurt. Maybe this is the reason why I always give up, I’ve been through a lot of kind of things that I don’t wanna get hurt again, but I guess it is just inevitable. When you think that something is going to be different at the end it’s the same old story and you are disappointed, and you get hurt again.
“Enjoy him and fool around with him, but don't fall in love with him. Come on, why do you think they call it falling?”
“If you fall, you may never be able to get back up again.”
“We had our thing, and it was fun, until it wasn't anymore.”
“We had our thing, and it was fun, until it wasn't anymore.”
“Why people get marry anyway. How can you promise that you’re going to feel the same way forever?”
This is another quote which makes me think a lot of things about the subject and about marriage. It’s because when you are starting to grow up, you realise the prince charming and the perfect man don’t exist. When you are a kid (actually when you’re a girl) you dream about finding the perfect person, you think you are like one of those Disney princess and you think you’re life is a fairy tale. You grow up and you understand that all these fairy tales and all those Disney stories are lies, you are suddenly in the real world, and reality isn’t too pretty, isn’t like before. Everyone dreams about finding the perfect person, their other half, and if you find him/her, how do you now it’s the right one? You marry, but how can you promise that you’re going to feel the same forever? Human being changes, all the time, we are constantly changing. When you’re kid you love the blue colour, but when you grow up you suddenly hate it, we get bored of our cell phone and we change it, we get bored on one kind of music and we listening to another type of music, we get bored of a TV show and we try to find something else to watch, we get bored of one person and we seek for someone more interesting. I think feelings aren’t the exception. I guess love is just an illusion, something that eventually disappears over time, you think it’s going to last forever, but forever doesn’t exist, does it?
All these comments are just that, just comments, they are my point of view, my thoughts, you don’t have to agree with me. Everyone thinks in a different way, and well I hope this makes you think about what’s your idea of falling in love and true love, it’s interesting, everyone has a different meaning of it, and I think it’s alright, it would be boring if we think in the same way.
And if you haven’t watched the movie, I really recommend it.
For now I have to say ciao!
This is another quote which makes me think a lot of things about the subject and about marriage. It’s because when you are starting to grow up, you realise the prince charming and the perfect man don’t exist. When you are a kid (actually when you’re a girl) you dream about finding the perfect person, you think you are like one of those Disney princess and you think you’re life is a fairy tale. You grow up and you understand that all these fairy tales and all those Disney stories are lies, you are suddenly in the real world, and reality isn’t too pretty, isn’t like before. Everyone dreams about finding the perfect person, their other half, and if you find him/her, how do you now it’s the right one? You marry, but how can you promise that you’re going to feel the same forever? Human being changes, all the time, we are constantly changing. When you’re kid you love the blue colour, but when you grow up you suddenly hate it, we get bored of our cell phone and we change it, we get bored on one kind of music and we listening to another type of music, we get bored of a TV show and we try to find something else to watch, we get bored of one person and we seek for someone more interesting. I think feelings aren’t the exception. I guess love is just an illusion, something that eventually disappears over time, you think it’s going to last forever, but forever doesn’t exist, does it?
All these comments are just that, just comments, they are my point of view, my thoughts, you don’t have to agree with me. Everyone thinks in a different way, and well I hope this makes you think about what’s your idea of falling in love and true love, it’s interesting, everyone has a different meaning of it, and I think it’s alright, it would be boring if we think in the same way.
And if you haven’t watched the movie, I really recommend it.
For now I have to say ciao!
sábado, 3 de septiembre de 2011
When you don't know how to explain how you feel
Sometimes all the time I'm a mess when I try to write how I feel, when I try to explain what's on my mind.
Here is when music is my salvation. It's amazing when you find a song and the lyrics say exactly what are you going through or how you really feel. Every phrase, every single word describes what's going on with you, what's on your mind, it describes all your thoughts,the song is too accurate, it seems that song was wrote specially it for you. Your feelings are there, the reflection of your soul, your pain, your happiness, your sadness...all these emotions are there.
I already said it, I'm a mess when I want to describe my feelings, and right now all that I want is to bring out all that I have inside, because I think if I don't do it I'll go insane.
So I'll post the songs that I've been listening to.
Those song are so accurate.
Stay together for the kids-Blink-182
It's hard to wake up, when the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted, its so pathetic, it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say, the words rot and fall away
My stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day
So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away
It was mine, so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right.
Their anger hurts my ears, been running strong for seven years
Rather then fix the problems, they never solve them, it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday, we get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants, and its what she wants,then whys there so much pain?
So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away.
It was mine,so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right.
So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away.
It was mine,so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right
it's not right
it's not right
Numb-Pet Shop Boys
Don't wanna hear the news
What's going on
What's coming through
I don't wanna know
don't wanna know
Just wanna hide away
make my my escape
I want the world
to leave me alone
Feels like I feel too much
I've seen too much
For a little while
I want to forget
I wanna be numb
I don't wanna feel this pain no more
Wanna lose touch
I just wanna go and lock the door
I don't wanna think
I don't wanna feel nothing
I wanna be numb
I just wanna be
wanna be numb
Can't find no space to breathe
World's closing in
right on me now
Well that's how it feels
that's how it feels
Too much light
There's too much sound
Wanna turn it off
Wanna shut it out
I need some relief
Think that like I think too much
I've seen too much
There is just too much
thought in my head
I wanna be numb
I don't wanna feel this pain no more
Wanna lose touch
I just wanna go and lock the door
I don't wanna think
I don't wanna feel nothing
I wanna be numb
I just wanna be
wanna be
taken away from all the madness
Need to escape
escape from the pain
I'm out on the edge
about to lose my mind
For a little while
For a little while
I wanna be numb
Wounded-Good Charlotte
Lost and broken,
Hopeless and lonely.
Smiling on the outside,
and hurt beneath my skin.
My eyes are fading,
My soul is bleeding.
I'll try to make it seem okay,
But my faith is wearing thin.
So help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open,
And I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me sew them up.
I only wanted a magazine,
I only wanted a movie screen,
I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed.
And now my mind is an open book,
And now my heart is an open wound,
And now my life is an open soul for all to see.
But help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open and I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me,
So you come along,
I push you away,
Then kick and scream for you to stay.
Cuz I need someone to help me,
Oh I need someone to help me,
To help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault.
Here is when music is my salvation. It's amazing when you find a song and the lyrics say exactly what are you going through or how you really feel. Every phrase, every single word describes what's going on with you, what's on your mind, it describes all your thoughts,the song is too accurate, it seems that song was wrote specially it for you. Your feelings are there, the reflection of your soul, your pain, your happiness, your sadness...all these emotions are there.
I already said it, I'm a mess when I want to describe my feelings, and right now all that I want is to bring out all that I have inside, because I think if I don't do it I'll go insane.
So I'll post the songs that I've been listening to.
Those song are so accurate.
Stay together for the kids-Blink-182
It's hard to wake up, when the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted, its so pathetic, it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say, the words rot and fall away
My stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day
So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away
It was mine, so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right.
Their anger hurts my ears, been running strong for seven years
Rather then fix the problems, they never solve them, it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday, we get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants, and its what she wants,then whys there so much pain?
So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away.
It was mine,so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right.
So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away.
It was mine,so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right
it's not right
it's not right
Numb-Pet Shop Boys
Don't wanna hear the news
What's going on
What's coming through
I don't wanna know
don't wanna know
Just wanna hide away
make my my escape
I want the world
to leave me alone
Feels like I feel too much
I've seen too much
For a little while
I want to forget
I wanna be numb
I don't wanna feel this pain no more
Wanna lose touch
I just wanna go and lock the door
I don't wanna think
I don't wanna feel nothing
I wanna be numb
I just wanna be
wanna be numb
Can't find no space to breathe
World's closing in
right on me now
Well that's how it feels
that's how it feels
Too much light
There's too much sound
Wanna turn it off
Wanna shut it out
I need some relief
Think that like I think too much
I've seen too much
There is just too much
thought in my head
I wanna be numb
I don't wanna feel this pain no more
Wanna lose touch
I just wanna go and lock the door
I don't wanna think
I don't wanna feel nothing
I wanna be numb
I just wanna be
wanna be
taken away from all the madness
Need to escape
escape from the pain
I'm out on the edge
about to lose my mind
For a little while
For a little while
I wanna be numb
Wounded-Good Charlotte
Lost and broken,
Hopeless and lonely.
Smiling on the outside,
and hurt beneath my skin.
My eyes are fading,
My soul is bleeding.
I'll try to make it seem okay,
But my faith is wearing thin.
So help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open,
And I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me sew them up.
I only wanted a magazine,
I only wanted a movie screen,
I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed.
And now my mind is an open book,
And now my heart is an open wound,
And now my life is an open soul for all to see.
But help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault,
That I'm open and I'm bleeding,
All over your brand new rug.
And I need someone to help me,
So you come along,
I push you away,
Then kick and scream for you to stay.
Cuz I need someone to help me,
Oh I need someone to help me,
To help me heal these wounds,
They've been open for way too long.
Help me fill this hole,
Even though this is not your fault.
jueves, 1 de septiembre de 2011
Mi otra mitad
Hace 2 horas tuve un momento muy intenso y repentino con mi actitud, y es que desde hace varios días he estado de un humor un poco raro, un poco bipolar, un momento puedo estar toda feliz y sonriente, luego estoy un poco pensativa, deprimida, triste, después de todo eso parece que el que se me ponga enfrente va a sufrir las consecuencias de tantos cambios en mí porque me pongo en un plan insoportable y de mal humor.
Y es exactamente lo que acaba de pasar, estaba hablando con “mi otra mitad” por internet, todo tranquilo y normal, lo de siempre- ¿cómo estás? ¿Qué has hecho? etc. Cuando de repente me enojé de la nada y empecé a decir tantas cosas con una mala actitud y me fui.
Regresé al chat una media hora después, cuando me habló y dijo- ¿ya se te pasó? Cuéntame lo de hoy. Lo único que pude pensar fue- Gracias dios por ésta persona tan maravillosa que está en mi vida. Y es que cuando me refiero a mi otra mitad, no estoy hablando de un chavo o de alguien que me guste, estoy hablando de mi mejor amiga. Y es que si hubiera sido otra persona, con la que hubiera puesto así de bipolar, sé que no me hubiera hablado otra vez esta noche, o hubiera pensado- Que rara eres, un rato estás bien, y al otro rato, estás como loca, mejor no hablaré contigo. Pero no ella, ella me conoce creo que mejor de lo que yo me conozco, ella sabe cuando estoy pasando por un mal momento, o sabe cómo actuar cuando me pongo mal. Siempre ha estado en los momentos más importantes de mi vida, en las buenas y en las malas, sé que esto suena como cliché, pero cuando tienes a una persona así en tu vida, tienes las bases y pruebas de cuand cierto y el verdadero significado que abarca esta frase “en las buenas y en las malas”.
La conozco desde que tenía 6 años, fuimos a la primaria, secundaria y preparatoria juntas, pero no fue hasta el primer año de secundaria cuando se creo este vínculo especial con ella. No sé cómo surgió, si nos preguntaran a las dos como fue que nos empezamos a llevar tan bien, creo que no sabríamos que contestar, simplemente surgió esta gran amistad. Como las más hermosas y extraordinarias cosas de la vida, creo que surgió de detalles pequeños, de cosas y circunstancias que uno consideraría insignificantes; pláticas después de la escuela, trabajos en grupo para una clase, sentarnos juntas, el gusto por la misma música, las mismas cosas, terminar la frase que uno empieza, decir lo mismo al mismo tiempo, reírnos hasta que no podamos más. Simplemente al final nos volvimos inseparables. Incluso ahora que estamos estudiando diferentes carreras y que asistimos a diferentes universidades, siento que aún vive en nosotras esas pequeñas niñas de 11 años, las que se ríen de todo, las que terminan las frases de una a la otra, las que aún adoran pasar un viernes por la noche en casa viendo películas y platicando de lo que sea hasta tales horas de la noche. Esta amistad se ha ido fortaleciendo año con año, día con día y es que nos hemos visto crecer, hemos pasado por tanto, creo que nos hemos ayudado mutuamente a ser mejores personas, porque es cierto que cuando estas con tu otra mitad es cuando sacas la mejor versión de ti mismo, y eso me pasa cuando estoy con ella, siento que soy la mejor versión de mi.
Es gracioso no creen, como de una situación como la que acaba de surgir de mi cambio de actitud y como ella reaccionó me haga pensar en todo esto, en lo agradecida que estoy por tenerla en mi vida, y es que tal vez estas cosas pasan por algo ¿no? Surgen cosas pequeñas, situaciones que crees insignificantes pero aún así tienen cierto impacto en tu vida, cierta reacción y te pones a pensar en lo que tienes, en lo positivo y en lo negativo, pero en cuanto ella, todo es positivo.
No hay palabras suficientes para expresar cuanto la quiero, como la respeto y como la adoro, no es sólo mi mejor amiga, es como mi hermana, es parte de mi familia, yo la elegí a ella y me siento bendecida de que ella me haya elegido. Creo que todas las personas deberían de tener a alguien tan maravillosa y extraordinaria como ella, a alguien tan hermosa por dentro y por fuera como ella, a alguien con quien siempre puedas confiar de verdad, que sepas que puedes contarle todo, contarle todos tus secretos, que te llegue a conocer como nadie lo ha hecho, alguien con quien puedas ser simplemente tu mismo y te sientas a gusto, que la única situación que te haga llorar sea nada más y nada menos que de risa, alguien que siempre esté para recibirte en su casa, y que sientas que su familia, es tu segunda familia también, simplemente alguien que ilumine tu vida y te haga sentir afortunado ¿No es esa la definición y la idea que tenemos de nuestra otra mitad? Si, creo que lo es, es por eso que me atrevo a llamar a esta increíble persona mi otra mitad.
Gracias por ser parte de mi.
Con amor, bobby ;)
Regresé al chat una media hora después, cuando me habló y dijo- ¿ya se te pasó? Cuéntame lo de hoy. Lo único que pude pensar fue- Gracias dios por ésta persona tan maravillosa que está en mi vida. Y es que cuando me refiero a mi otra mitad, no estoy hablando de un chavo o de alguien que me guste, estoy hablando de mi mejor amiga. Y es que si hubiera sido otra persona, con la que hubiera puesto así de bipolar, sé que no me hubiera hablado otra vez esta noche, o hubiera pensado- Que rara eres, un rato estás bien, y al otro rato, estás como loca, mejor no hablaré contigo. Pero no ella, ella me conoce creo que mejor de lo que yo me conozco, ella sabe cuando estoy pasando por un mal momento, o sabe cómo actuar cuando me pongo mal. Siempre ha estado en los momentos más importantes de mi vida, en las buenas y en las malas, sé que esto suena como cliché, pero cuando tienes a una persona así en tu vida, tienes las bases y pruebas de cuand cierto y el verdadero significado que abarca esta frase “en las buenas y en las malas”.
La conozco desde que tenía 6 años, fuimos a la primaria, secundaria y preparatoria juntas, pero no fue hasta el primer año de secundaria cuando se creo este vínculo especial con ella. No sé cómo surgió, si nos preguntaran a las dos como fue que nos empezamos a llevar tan bien, creo que no sabríamos que contestar, simplemente surgió esta gran amistad. Como las más hermosas y extraordinarias cosas de la vida, creo que surgió de detalles pequeños, de cosas y circunstancias que uno consideraría insignificantes; pláticas después de la escuela, trabajos en grupo para una clase, sentarnos juntas, el gusto por la misma música, las mismas cosas, terminar la frase que uno empieza, decir lo mismo al mismo tiempo, reírnos hasta que no podamos más. Simplemente al final nos volvimos inseparables. Incluso ahora que estamos estudiando diferentes carreras y que asistimos a diferentes universidades, siento que aún vive en nosotras esas pequeñas niñas de 11 años, las que se ríen de todo, las que terminan las frases de una a la otra, las que aún adoran pasar un viernes por la noche en casa viendo películas y platicando de lo que sea hasta tales horas de la noche. Esta amistad se ha ido fortaleciendo año con año, día con día y es que nos hemos visto crecer, hemos pasado por tanto, creo que nos hemos ayudado mutuamente a ser mejores personas, porque es cierto que cuando estas con tu otra mitad es cuando sacas la mejor versión de ti mismo, y eso me pasa cuando estoy con ella, siento que soy la mejor versión de mi.
Es gracioso no creen, como de una situación como la que acaba de surgir de mi cambio de actitud y como ella reaccionó me haga pensar en todo esto, en lo agradecida que estoy por tenerla en mi vida, y es que tal vez estas cosas pasan por algo ¿no? Surgen cosas pequeñas, situaciones que crees insignificantes pero aún así tienen cierto impacto en tu vida, cierta reacción y te pones a pensar en lo que tienes, en lo positivo y en lo negativo, pero en cuanto ella, todo es positivo.
No hay palabras suficientes para expresar cuanto la quiero, como la respeto y como la adoro, no es sólo mi mejor amiga, es como mi hermana, es parte de mi familia, yo la elegí a ella y me siento bendecida de que ella me haya elegido. Creo que todas las personas deberían de tener a alguien tan maravillosa y extraordinaria como ella, a alguien tan hermosa por dentro y por fuera como ella, a alguien con quien siempre puedas confiar de verdad, que sepas que puedes contarle todo, contarle todos tus secretos, que te llegue a conocer como nadie lo ha hecho, alguien con quien puedas ser simplemente tu mismo y te sientas a gusto, que la única situación que te haga llorar sea nada más y nada menos que de risa, alguien que siempre esté para recibirte en su casa, y que sientas que su familia, es tu segunda familia también, simplemente alguien que ilumine tu vida y te haga sentir afortunado ¿No es esa la definición y la idea que tenemos de nuestra otra mitad? Si, creo que lo es, es por eso que me atrevo a llamar a esta increíble persona mi otra mitad.
Gracias por ser parte de mi.
Con amor, bobby ;)
lunes, 29 de agosto de 2011
No more
Why am I so stupid? Why do I still want you? Why do I still care about you? Why? Why? I am always wondering why I am still wanting you by my side when you are so fucking cold and I am always showing my feelings and you, you don’t show anything!!! When you just don't do anything at all. And you always cross my mind and I smile like a fucking idiot when I think about you, but you don’t even think about me, I never cross your mind, and I am always the one who calls, the one who always sends messages. I’ve been there for you, when you need help I am always there not matter what and the truth is that I am fucking tired of it, I’m fucking tired of missing you, I am tired of wanting you, I am fucking tired of these stupid feelings.This is when I ask myself, why do I even have these feelings for you? When I try to find your imperfections, when I try to find your bad side…I just I can’t, I just think about how lovely you are, you are also very funny, and cute sometimes. When I'm with you I forget all my problems, you are always joking around, you say the most stupid things, and I love it. I’m happy when you’re around, I am not afraid of being myself when I’m with you, because I don’t care if I say stupid things, or if a make funny faces, I don’t worry what you would think about me because I feel comfortable when you're around, and every time I see you or I hear you I put a big smile on my face, and if I’m mad at you, you try to be even funnier and you always know how to make me laugh, you never fail to make me smile. I HATE THAT!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it because you know I want you and I love you so much that you know that if I am mad at you in a week I will be “fine” because I hate not talking with you, you know you have the “power” here, but I say no more! I am done! It’s always the same story and I AM REALLY TIRED OF IT!!! I’LL GET OVER YOU!!! If you are not there for me I will not there for you this time, I will not call you, I will not send you messages, I won’t try any form to stay in touch with you I will not miss you, no more!!
So I wrote this a while ago,I was very angry with that person and with myself. Maybe this doesn't make sense at all or maybe it does. I think everyone has felt this way at least once in their life, this mess,these mixed feelings. I think everyone has been in this kind of situation, when you have this special person and you want him/her so much that you could do anything for him/her. You love and adore this person so bad that it hurts. It hurts so much that becomes insane. It isn’t good anymore. Sometimes you feel you are the one who gives more, you give the best of you, you are the one who tries, the one who really cares about the relationship/friendship, and then you think about it, you wonder why you should keep doing it and you say-I won't do it anymore.
Even so you still give in over and over again, and at some point you just can do it anymore, this time is for real, you are so tired and confused, the only thing you can do is give up, and you try to get over it, to get over that person, the feelings, you try to get over the good times and memories, you just try to move on with your life.
Even so you still give in over and over again, and at some point you just can do it anymore, this time is for real, you are so tired and confused, the only thing you can do is give up, and you try to get over it, to get over that person, the feelings, you try to get over the good times and memories, you just try to move on with your life.
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