Why am I so stupid? Why do I still want you? Why do I still care about you? Why? Why? I am always wondering why I am still wanting you by my side when you are so fucking cold and I am always showing my feelings and you, you don’t show anything!!! When you just don't do anything at all. And you always cross my mind and I smile like a fucking idiot when I think about you, but you don’t even think about me, I never cross your mind, and I am always the one who calls, the one who always sends messages. I’ve been there for you, when you need help I am always there not matter what and the truth is that I am fucking tired of it, I’m fucking tired of missing you, I am tired of wanting you, I am fucking tired of these stupid feelings.This is when I ask myself, why do I even have these feelings for you? When I try to find your imperfections, when I try to find your bad side…I just I can’t, I just think about how lovely you are, you are also very funny, and cute sometimes. When I'm with you I forget all my problems, you are always joking around, you say the most stupid things, and I love it. I’m happy when you’re around, I am not afraid of being myself when I’m with you, because I don’t care if I say stupid things, or if a make funny faces, I don’t worry what you would think about me because I feel comfortable when you're around, and every time I see you or I hear you I put a big smile on my face, and if I’m mad at you, you try to be even funnier and you always know how to make me laugh, you never fail to make me smile. I HATE THAT!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it because you know I want you and I love you so much that you know that if I am mad at you in a week I will be “fine” because I hate not talking with you, you know you have the “power” here, but I say no more! I am done! It’s always the same story and I AM REALLY TIRED OF IT!!! I’LL GET OVER YOU!!! If you are not there for me I will not there for you this time, I will not call you, I will not send you messages, I won’t try any form to stay in touch with you I will not miss you, no more!!
So I wrote this a while ago,I was very angry with that person and with myself. Maybe this doesn't make sense at all or maybe it does. I think everyone has felt this way at least once in their life, this mess,these mixed feelings. I think everyone has been in this kind of situation, when you have this special person and you want him/her so much that you could do anything for him/her. You love and adore this person so bad that it hurts. It hurts so much that becomes insane. It isn’t good anymore. Sometimes you feel you are the one who gives more, you give the best of you, you are the one who tries, the one who really cares about the relationship/friendship, and then you think about it, you wonder why you should keep doing it and you say-I won't do it anymore.
Even so you still give in over and over again, and at some point you just can do it anymore, this time is for real, you are so tired and confused, the only thing you can do is give up, and you try to get over it, to get over that person, the feelings, you try to get over the good times and memories, you just try to move on with your life.
Even so you still give in over and over again, and at some point you just can do it anymore, this time is for real, you are so tired and confused, the only thing you can do is give up, and you try to get over it, to get over that person, the feelings, you try to get over the good times and memories, you just try to move on with your life.