viernes, 16 de septiembre de 2011

Random post

I will write something short. I haven’t been so inspired this week.
I had my iTunes in 
aleatory,then this song started and well suddenly this "person" came into my mind. We all have had this experience. We listen to a song and immediately we think of that person.
But it could be a friend, your mom, your dad, relatives, someone special.
Maybe it is because that person likes that song, maybe that song was playing when something happened with that person, or in my case with this song, the lyrics say what’s happening and what you would like to do.

So I can relate this song with that person
I’m pretty sure my friends know who he is haha.

Strange And Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)-Aqualung

I've been watching your world from afar, 
I've been trying to be where you are, 
And I've been secretly falling apart, 
I'll see. 
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful, 
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see, 
You turn every head but you don't see me. 


I'll put a spell on you, 
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you. 
And when I wake you, 
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop 
And you'll realise that you love me. 


Yeah... 
Yeah... 


Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first, 
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes, 
And I know, the waiting is all you can do, 
Sometimes... 


I'll put a spell on you, 
You'll fall asleep, 
I'll put a spell on you, 
And when I wake you, 
I'll be the first thing you see, 
And you'll realise that you love me. 


I'll put a spell on you, 
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you, 
And when I wake you, 
I'll be the first thing you see, 
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah... 

sábado, 10 de septiembre de 2011

Every time is the same.

You have been through many disappointing situations in your life, every time is the same. You always fall with the same damn rock; you fall over and over again. It’s a mess, you feel desperate and disappointed, you’re so sick of it, so tired of it. You're so scared, you don't want to believe in nothing else because for you every time is the same. You think you have lost faith, you don’t want to dream anymore, your stop believing, you’re so tired of crying at night, you don’t want to feel more pain, you don’t want to get hurt again.
A new situation shows up, and you think it’s better to see the bright side of it, you decide to be positive, to be a new person, and to enjoy what life brings you. You want to think this time will be different; you start to believe this time will be different. You say this will be a new story, you won’t feel like before. You start to dream again, to think your misery will end and that you’ll be happy this time.  Everything seems to go so well, it’s seems to be good for you, you tell yourself this won’t be like before.
Then everything changes, everything goes from good to bad, it’s a déjà vu, you realise it is like before. This new situation turns out to be like the others you already had. You have fallen again, you feel miserable again- Suddenly appears this feeling that you know so well. You feel a pressure inside of you, the pain in your chest comes back, you can hardly breathe, there’s a lot of thoughts in your head, you think too much, you feel too much, you’re lost in your thoughts, you cannot even think. After that your view blurs, you feel a warm sensation running down your face, you know what it is, your eyes are full of tears now, you just cannot stop it, just like the pain you feel.
You wish you could run away, away from here, away from everybody, from everything. You feel so dumb because you believed this time would be different, this was supposed to be different, but it is not. You feel ashamed of yourself, disappointed. The same old story again. You know it so well, every part of it; you know how the script ends. You’re so stupid, will you ever learn?? you tell yourself. Because when you start to believe you realise every time is the same.

jueves, 8 de septiembre de 2011

She's everything I'm not...

She's pretty, I'm not
She's gorgeous, I'm not
She's cute, I'm not
She's tall, I'm not
She's skinny, I'm not
She's beautiful, I'm not
She smiles all the time, I don't
She takes risks, I don't
She does everything she wants, I don't
She fights for her dreams, I don't
She's happy, I'm not
She is fearless, I'm not 
She's outgoing, I'm not
She's cool, I'm not
She's worthwhile, I'm not
She's good enough, I guess I'm not
She's just perfect
She's everything I'm not...
I've lost who I am,
and I can't understand

Why my heart is so broken
rejecting your love...

martes, 6 de septiembre de 2011

*El jueguito de las miradas*

Tenía mi iTunes en aleatorio cuando salió una de mis canciones favoritas, Crushcrushcrush de Paramore. Me agrada bastante ésta canción, es movida, tiene buen ritmo, y la letra es algo peculiar. Me sé de memoria esta canción, creo que me la aprendí el mismo día de haberla escuchado y más de 30 veces de repetirla. Pero hay varias partes de la canción que me llaman más la atención y me hace pensar en varias cosas.

“I got a lot to say to you
I noticed your eyes are always glued to me
Keeping them here
And it makes no sense at all”

“If you want to play it like a game
Well, come on, come on, let's play”

Fue gracias a estas frases que se me ocurrió hacer este post sobre el juego de las miradas.

Creo que a todos nos ha pasado esto alguna vez. Entras a un lugar, te sientas, observas lo que hay alrededor, hay mucha gente, o tal vez poca gente, de repente alguien llama tu atención, ese alguien se da cuenta de tu presencia también, y así empieza todo esto. Ves a esa persona de reojo, te volteas para que no se dé cuenta que la estás viendo, en ese instante él/ella aprovecha para mirarte. Así se la pasan unos minutos hasta que decides volver a verlo/a y esta vez sus miradas se cruzan, los dos al darse cuenta que han hecho contacto visual hay una de dos; o sonríen o los dos desvían la mirada hacia otro lugar.
Es un tanto gracioso este tipo de situaciones, y es que aunque no parezca, son muy comunes y se pueden dar en cualquier  parte, ya sea en la calle, en una tienda, en una plaza comercial, en un bar (es de ley que pase esto en un bar o en el antro jaja) en un parque, en el trabajo, en la escuela…
Pero hay ocasiones que este juego de las miradas se prolonga. Y es que te topas siempre con esta persona en un lugar que frecuentas. No necesariamente tienes que ser tú la persona que empieza este juego, es alguien más, y tal vez nunca te habías dado cuenta de esto hasta que una vez lo atrapas observándote. Al principio no le das importancia, después lo descubres haciéndolo otra vez, otra vez y otra vez, luego de eso te preguntas ¿por qué me mira tanto? Después de lo sucedido estás completamente consciente de su presencia y tú decides seguir con el juego, es divertido. Pero esto se va alargando más de lo que esperabas, ves a esa persona todos los días, parece ya un hábito, el juego sigue siendo divertido pero llega un momento en que surgen más preguntas ¿Por qué no viene y me habla? ¿Qué pasaría si nos habláramos? ¿Terminaría  toda la diversión en ese justo momento? Y es que la intriga y el misterio son tal vez lo que nos llama la atención, lo que hace esto tan interesante. Pero aún así sigues preguntándote más cosas, ¿Cómo será esa persona? ¿Tendrán cosas en común? ¿Se llevarían bien?
Tal vez nunca lo sepas, tal vez sí, todo es cuestión de las dos partes, si una se anima a cruzar la línea e ir más allá. Tal vez se acabe el interés y la diversión, tal vez no, pero al parecer mantener la distancia y el misterio son las reglas de este juego. Pero las reglas se hicieron para romperse ¿no?

Ciao!

domingo, 4 de septiembre de 2011

"How to deal"

It was Sunday morning, I turned up the TV on,and I looked for a movie. I found “How to deal” I have watched it like 20 times, and I never get tired of it, it's one of my favourite movies I have to say. Maybe it is because I really understand and I see a little of myself on the main character. 
If you haven’t watched it,you don’t know what I’m talking about and obviously you don’t know how the main character is, here’s a little summary of the movie.

The main character is Halley (Mandy Moore, one of my favourites actress also), she is a high school student who is disillusioned with love a
fter seeing the many dysfunctional relationships around her. Because of this she’s convinced that true love doesn’t exist. Her parents are divorced, his dad is going to marry with a younger woman, her mother is hysterical because of it, her older sister is going to marry as well and she’s planning her wedding, and her best friend…well I won’t explain what’s going on with her to not spoil this part. So Halley met a guy called Macon, she starts to spend a lot of time with him, they say they're just “friends” and well I think you can guess what’s coming next, it’s a little predictable I may say, but the situation and the thoughts that she has inside of her head about love, it’s what makes this movie interesting, at least for me.
Like I said before, I understand her, I see a reflection of myself in Halley, I really comprehend the feelings of this character, and maybe it’s because that my idea of love it’s similar to hers.
I'll put some quotes of the movie that I really like.



“I had to leave because I was starting to actually care about you...and that just means I could get hurt. Maybe it was because I wasn't ready to like someone so much.”

“Are you afraid to go out with me because you
 might actually like me?



“That's what guys are good at... disappearing right?



Halley:Oh Macon, I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you. 
Macon: What kind of logic is that? 
Halley: It's logical logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?
 

There are many quotes and parts of the movie that make me think about how I feel and what I think about love. And here I go, the first time I watched it and heard this I started to think, yes this is logical logic, and I see it the same way that Halley sees it, you get along with one person, you open up, you let him/her enter into your life, in that moment you give them the power of hurting you, and I think you have more of 70% of getting hurt. Maybe this is the reason why I always give up, I’ve been through a lot of kind of things that I don’t wanna get hurt again, but I guess it is just inevitable. When you think that something is going to be different at the end it’s the same old story and you are disappointed, and you get hurt again.

“Enjoy him and fool around with him, but don't fall in love with him. Come on, why do you think they call it falling?

“If you fall, you may never be able to get back up again.”

“We had our thing, and it was fun, until it wasn't any
more.

“Why people get marry anyway. How can you promise that you’re going to feel the same way forever?”

This is another quote which makes me think a lot of things about the subject and about marriage. It’s because when you are starting to grow up, you realise the prince charming and the perfect man don’t exist. When you are a kid (actually when you’re a girl) you dream about finding the perfect person, you think you are like one of those Disney princess and you think you’re life is a fairy tale. You grow up and you understand that all these fairy tales and all those Disney stories are lies, you are suddenly in the real world, and reality isn’t too pretty, isn’t like before. Everyone dreams about finding the perfect person, their other half, and if you find him/her, how do you now it’s the right one? You marry, but how can you promise that you’re going to feel the same forever? Human being changes, all the time, we are constantly changing. When you’re kid you love the blue colour, but when you grow up you suddenly hate it, we get bored of our cell phone and we change it, we get bored on one kind of music and we listening to another type of music, we get bored of a TV show and we try to find something else to watch, we get bored of one person and we seek for someone more interesting. I think feelings aren’t the exception. I guess love is just an illusion, something that eventually disappears over time, you think it’s going to last forever, but forever doesn’t exist, does it?

All these comments are just that, just comments, they are my point of view, my thoughts, you don’t have to agree with me. Everyone thinks in a different way, and well I hope this makes you think about what’s your idea of falling in love and true love, it’s interesting, everyone has a different meaning of it, and I think it’s alright, it would be boring if we think in the same way.
And if you haven’t watched the movie, I really recommend it.

For now I have to say ciao!

sábado, 3 de septiembre de 2011

When you don't know how to explain how you feel

Sometimes all the time I'm a mess when I try to write how I feel, when I try to explain what's on my mind.
Here is when music is my salvation. It's amazing when you find a song and the lyrics say exactly what are you going through or how you really feel. Every phrase, every single word describes what's going on with you, what's on your mind, it describes all your thoughts,the song is too accurate, it seems that song was wrote specially it for you. Your feelings are there, the reflection of your soul, your pain, your happiness, your sadness...all these emotions are there.
I already said it, I'm a mess when I want to describe my feelings, and right now all that I want is to bring out all that I have inside, because I think if I don't do it I'll go insan
e.
So I'll post the songs that I've been listening to.

Those song are so accurate.



Stay together for the kids-Blink-182

It's hard to wake up, when the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted, its so pathetic, it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say, the words rot and fall away
My stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day


So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away
It was mine, so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right.


Their anger hurts my ears, been running strong for seven years
Rather then fix the problems, they never solve them, it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday, we get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants, and its what she wants,then whys there so much pain?


So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away.
It was mine,so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right.


So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time, you gave it all away.
It was mine,so when your dead and gone,
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost,
it's not right
it's not right 
it's not right
Numb-Pet Shop Boys

Don't wanna hear the news 
What's going on 
What's coming through 
I don't wanna know 
don't wanna know 
Just wanna hide away 
make my my escape 
I want the world 
to leave me alone 
Feels like I feel too much 
I've seen too much 
For a little while 
I want to forget
I wanna be numb 
I don't wanna feel this pain no more 
Wanna lose touch 
I just wanna go and lock the door 
I don't wanna think 
I don't wanna feel nothing 
I wanna be numb 
I just wanna be 
wanna be numb 


Can't find no space to breathe 
World's closing in 
right on me now 
Well that's how it feels 
that's how it feels 
Too much light 
There's too much sound 
Wanna turn it off 
Wanna shut it out 
I need some relief 
Think that like I think too much 
I've seen too much 
There is just too much 
thought in my head 


I wanna be numb 
I don't wanna feel this pain no more 
Wanna lose touch 
I just wanna go and lock the door 
I don't wanna think 
I don't wanna feel nothing 
I wanna be numb 
I just wanna be 
wanna be 
taken away from all the madness 
Need to escape 
escape from the pain 
I'm out on the edge 
about to lose my mind 
For a little while 
For a little while 
I wanna be numb 



Wounded-Good Charlotte

Lost and broken, 

Hopeless and lonely. 
Smiling on the outside, 
and hurt beneath my skin. 


My eyes are fading, 
My soul is bleeding. 
I'll try to make it seem okay, 
But my faith is wearing thin. 


So help me heal these wounds, 
They've been open for way too long. 
Help me fill this hole
Even though this is not your fault, 


That I'm open, 
And I'm bleeding, 
All over your brand new rug. 
And I need someone to help me sew them up. 


I only wanted a magazine, 
I only wanted a movie screen, 
I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed. 
And now my mind is an open book, 
And now my heart is an open wound, 
And now my life is an open soul for all to see. 


But help me heal these wounds, 
They've been open for way too long. 
Help me fill this hole, 
Even though this is not your fault, 


That I'm open and I'm bleeding, 
All over your brand new rug. 
And I need someone to help me, 
So you come along, 
I push you away, 
Then kick and scream for you to stay. 
Cuz I need someone to help me, 
Oh I need someone to help me, 
To help me heal these wounds, 
They've been open for way too long. 
Help me fill this hole, 
Even though this is not your fault. 


jueves, 1 de septiembre de 2011

Mi otra mitad

Hace 2 horas tuve un momento muy intenso y repentino con mi actitud, y es que desde hace varios días he estado de un humor un poco raro, un poco bipolar, un momento puedo estar toda feliz y sonriente, luego estoy un poco pensativa, deprimida, triste, después de todo eso parece que el que se me ponga enfrente va a sufrir las consecuencias de tantos cambios en mí porque me pongo en un plan insoportable y de mal humor.  
Y es exactamente lo que acaba de pasar, estaba hablando con “mi otra mitad” por internet, todo tranquilo y normal, lo de siempre- ¿cómo estás? ¿Qué has hecho? etc. Cuando de repente me enojé de la nada y empecé a decir tantas cosas con una mala actitud y me fui.
Regresé al chat una media hora después, cuando me habló y dijo- ¿ya se te pasó? Cuéntame lo de hoy. Lo único que pude pensar fue- Gracias dios por ésta persona tan maravillosa que está en mi vida. Y es que cuando me refiero a mi otra mitad, no estoy hablando de un chavo o de alguien que me guste, estoy hablando de mi mejor amiga. Y es que si hubiera sido otra persona, con la que hubiera puesto así de bipolar, sé que no me hubiera hablado otra vez  esta noche, o hubiera pensado- Que rara eres, un rato estás bien, y al otro rato, estás como loca, mejor no hablaré contigo. Pero no ella, ella me conoce creo que mejor de lo que yo me conozco, ella sabe cuando estoy pasando por un mal momento, o  sabe cómo actuar cuando me pongo mal. Siempre ha estado en  los momentos más importantes de mi vida, en las buenas y en las malas, sé que esto suena como cliché, pero cuando tienes a una persona así en tu vida, tienes las bases y pruebas de cuand cierto y el verdadero significado que abarca esta frase “en las buenas y en las malas”.
La conozco desde que tenía 6 años, fuimos a la primaria, secundaria y preparatoria juntas, pero no fue hasta el primer año de secundaria cuando se creo este vínculo especial con ella.  No sé cómo surgió, si nos preguntaran a las dos como fue que nos empezamos a llevar tan bien, creo que no sabríamos que contestar, simplemente surgió esta gran amistad. Como las más hermosas y extraordinarias cosas de la vida, creo que surgió de detalles pequeños, de cosas y circunstancias que uno consideraría insignificantes; pláticas después de la escuela, trabajos en grupo para una clase, sentarnos juntas, el gusto por la misma música, las mismas cosas, terminar la frase que uno empieza, decir lo mismo al mismo tiempo, reírnos hasta que no podamos más.  Simplemente al final nos volvimos inseparables. Incluso ahora que estamos estudiando diferentes carreras y que asistimos a diferentes universidades, siento que aún vive en nosotras esas pequeñas niñas de 11 años, las que se ríen de todo, las que terminan las frases de una a la otra, las que aún adoran pasar un viernes por la noche en casa viendo películas y platicando de lo que sea hasta tales horas de la noche. Esta amistad se ha ido fortaleciendo año con año, día con día y es que nos hemos visto crecer, hemos pasado por tanto, creo que nos hemos ayudado mutuamente a ser mejores personas, porque es cierto que cuando estas con tu otra mitad es cuando sacas la mejor versión de ti mismo, y eso me pasa cuando estoy con ella, siento que soy la mejor versión de mi.
Es gracioso no creen, como de una situación como la que acaba de surgir de mi cambio de actitud y como ella reaccionó me haga pensar en todo esto, en lo agradecida que estoy por tenerla en mi vida, y es que tal vez estas cosas pasan por algo ¿no? Surgen cosas pequeñas, situaciones que crees insignificantes pero aún así tienen cierto impacto en tu vida, cierta reacción y te pones a pensar en lo que tienes, en lo positivo y en lo negativo, pero en cuanto ella, todo es positivo.
No hay palabras suficientes para expresar cuanto la quiero, como la respeto y como la adoro, no es sólo mi mejor amiga, es como mi hermana, es parte de mi familia, yo la elegí a ella y me siento bendecida de que ella me haya elegido. Creo que todas las personas deberían de tener a alguien tan maravillosa y extraordinaria como ella, a alguien tan hermosa por dentro y por fuera como ella, a alguien con quien siempre puedas confiar de verdad, que sepas que puedes contarle todo, contarle todos tus secretos, que te llegue a conocer como nadie lo ha hecho, alguien con quien puedas ser simplemente tu mismo y te sientas a gusto, que la única situación que te haga llorar sea nada más y nada menos que de risa, alguien que siempre esté para recibirte en su casa, y que sientas que su familia, es tu segunda familia también, simplemente alguien que ilumine tu vida y te haga sentir afortunado ¿No es esa la definición y la idea que tenemos de  nuestra otra mitad? Si, creo que lo es, es por eso que me atrevo a llamar a esta increíble persona mi otra mitad.
Gracias por ser parte de mi.

Con amor, bobby ;)