Every time is the same.

You have been through many disappointing situations in your life, every time is the same. You always fall with the same damn rock; you fall over and over again. It’s a mess, you feel desperate and disappointed, you’re so sick of it, so tired of it. You're so scared, you don't want to believe in nothing else because for you every time is the same. You think you have lost faith, you don’t want to dream anymore, your stop believing, you’re so tired of crying at night, you don’t want to feel more pain, you don’t want to get hurt again.
A new situation shows up, and you think it’s better to see the bright side of it, you decide to be positive, to be a new person, and to enjoy what life brings you. You want to think this time will be different; you start to believe this time will be different. You say this will be a new story, you won’t feel like before. You start to dream again, to think your misery will end and that you’ll be happy this time.  Everything seems to go so well, it’s seems to be good for you, you tell yourself this won’t be like before.
Then everything changes, everything goes from good to bad, it’s a déjà vu, you realise it is like before. This new situation turns out to be like the others you already had. You have fallen again, you feel miserable again- Suddenly appears this feeling that you know so well. You feel a pressure inside of you, the pain in your chest comes back, you can hardly breathe, there’s a lot of thoughts in your head, you think too much, you feel too much, you’re lost in your thoughts, you cannot even think. After that your view blurs, you feel a warm sensation running down your face, you know what it is, your eyes are full of tears now, you just cannot stop it, just like the pain you feel.
You wish you could run away, away from here, away from everybody, from everything. You feel so dumb because you believed this time would be different, this was supposed to be different, but it is not. You feel ashamed of yourself, disappointed. The same old story again. You know it so well, every part of it; you know how the script ends. You’re so stupid, will you ever learn?? you tell yourself. Because when you start to believe you realise every time is the same.